When I started asking around for east-coast pony handlers, one name kept popping up: Adelasia. In fact, it didn’t matter if I was talking to a San Francisco herd member or a Floridian trainer, Adelasia seemed to be someone everyone knew about. While Pennsylvania is a bit far from Boston, she’s an entire ocean closer to BOS*PAH than our last interviewee. And she wasted no time getting to the details.
Instant Love
Adelasia: My story is actually a little comical as it starts…
Flutters: Oh perfect! Journalist pony adores comical stories.
Adelasia: A little background in the vanilla world I spent my 20s training horses for a living, so I love the bio horses and could not ever imagine my life without a horse in it. Well because of this love of horses I was told I would love pony play. when I asked the person about it, they told me all about their pony and what they did at the club a few weekends before that.
Flutters: Ooh, that sounds like fun…
Adelasia: I listened very attentively but the whole time I was thinking, “that is crazy… what the heck? Why would they think I would like something like that?” I did that as a child- playing at recess having one child be the horse the other the rider! LOL
Flutters: It always seems to start young, doesn’t it?
Adelasia: I cannot imagine ever liking something so ridiculous, yes I thought pony play was ridiculous when it was first described to me. The person was very persistent that I see it for myself and made sure to drag me to Pony Camp at my first Camp Crucible back in 2006.
Flutters: But you were already into kinky things then?
Adelasia: I have been kinky my whole life, I have been tying up guys since my first boyfriend at 16, but I had not seen or heard of pony play till [2006]. Well this person took me to Camp Crucible and made sure our cabin was in the heart of pony camp. He dragged me very reluctantly to my first pony clinic. When they found out I had real horse experience they flocked all around me. At first it was a bit overwhelming; everyone was saying what a natural I would be at it.
Flutters: Heh. For every trainer/handler, there are a thousand ponies/subs/etc.
Adelasia: This clinic was a “learn the basics” kind of clinic and the first thing they were doing was grooming the ponies getting them ready to tack up. I was paired up with a great older pony, MonoRail or Hargy in his human form. I enjoyed brushing him and then the person running the clinic showed me the basics and… well they were right. It was instant love.
Flutters: Instant love, huh? Nice!
Adelasia: I worked with the older pony— the pony was —and I showed him some dressage moves. I just kinda did what I know of the dressage world in the vanilla world and figured out how to put that into pony play. I entered my first show that year and we won!
Working With Bio Horses
Flutters: So you’ve trained bio-horses for a while. Any specialty?
Adelasia: Jumpers were my specialty and a little bit dressage, but I was more the student in dressage than the trainer. I had a rep for being able to ride the unridable and work with difficult horses, turning them into good riding horses.
Flutters: I’m 6′ 5″. You think I’d make a good jumper?
Adelasia: Yes I am sure nice long legs for jumping!
Flutters: So you turned your bio-horse experience into human pony experience?
Adelasia: I guess for me it was so natural to adapt what I knew of training young horses and problem horses that it really did come easy to me to train human ponies. By the next year at camp I was teaching classes on what I had done to adapt dressage of the bio horse into pony play. My forte is cart work and in-hand dressage.
Pony, Meet Trainer
Flutters: So how do you find ponies to work with? Like I said, there’s probably a thousand per trainer. What’s your process like?
Adelasia: Each is very different. I do attract and gravitate to those that are looking to do the more traditional type of pony play; the human pony truly emulating and acting like the bio horse. I enjoy training them as I would a regular bio horse. When I work with each new pony I get to know their personality first and I learn how to bring out what I need in them. Each pony needs a little different handling.
Flutters: Ain’t that the truth! Bio horses, like humans, all have their own personalities too.
Adelasia: In my training I don’t use verbal commands. I use a dressage whip to give the pony signals, and I just keep giving the same signal over and over till they get it, and then I praise them.
Flutters: Just like you would with a real horse.
Adelasia: They want that praise, so they try to get it right the next time. Each time they get it right I praise them till they understand every time what I am asking when I give the signal.
The H Word
Flutters: I’ve been told that being treated like a bio-horse is the fastest route to the almighty H-word… “headspace.”
Adelasia: Yes it is. I have handled many ponies that, before me, had not been able to go into headspace, but they work with me— no vocals, just signals —and they drop pretty fast and go pretty deep.
Flutters: (Wow, do I need to make it to Pony Camp this year.)
Adelasia: For the ones that still have a lot of trouble, I will blindfold them so they must let go of their most needed human part: their eyes. They must relax and truly listen to the commands I give and go exactly where I direct them with the reins.
Flutters: (I REALLY need to make it to pony camp, dammit…) Sorry, um, getting a bit distracted here. Do you have a specific look that does it for you?
Adelasia: I love all ponies, I do not have a specific look in a pony. I am very different than most I think. My pony is not my sub when I am doing pony play, they are my horse. My pony. My friend. When I go into trainer mode, I no longer see the human. I see the pony, and as such treat them as I would my horses.
Flutters: I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how most of us want to be treated.
Adelasia: Another funny thing is when I first got into pony play, I would not hit a pony. To me that was cruelty to animals; you never hit your pony. Some ponies got upset and thought they were not pleasing me since I did not whip them. It took me a long time to separate the horse thought process— that some of the BDSM ponies enjoy being whipped and it was not cruelty to animals.
Sex and Ponyplay
Flutters: So that brings me to one big question then: Is ponyplay sexual for you in any way?
Adelasia: No, pony play is not sexual for me. I won’t deny that after a good session of pony play, I am horny and would be up for sex… I have a pony that enjoys a breeding scene and I am learning to embrace that side of it, but my normal pony play does not involve sex or sexual acts.
Flutters: I’ve talked to a LOT of ponies for whom the whole thing isn’t sexual at all… despite the bondage, the skimpy clothes (or lack thereof), and the usual kink crowd that surrounds it.
Adelasia: The one pony I play with is the only pony that has a sexual side to her pony play, that I know of.
Flutters: Would you consider breeding two ponies together if they wanted it? Or would that make you uncomfortable?
Adelasia: In the past probably not, but this new pony has opened my eyes to that side of pony play and that it can be a lot of fun too. This past camp we did a few breeding scenes and they were sooooo hot.
Flutters: (OK, I’m booking my flights now…)
Adelasia: I love that even after 10 years I am still growing and learning more aspects of pony play. I love learning new things and learning how others enjoy pony play and all the many different variations of pony play.
The Ultimate Pony Fantasy
Flutters: What’s your ultimate ponyplay fantasy? I mean, assuming you could work with any pony in the world, all the gear you wanted, all the facilities, all the money/time/etc.
Adelasia: That is easy: I would love one of those big beautiful old time Cinderella type carriages and have 6 or more ponies hooked to it that I am driving just like a real team of horses.
Flutters: Soooo… any given weekend in Germany, at least according to ALL THE PHOTOS ON FETLIFE.
Adelasia: I know, I get so jealous when I see all of those photos. One day I will have the land and find the carriage that I will do it someday.
The Scene
Flutters: Is there a local ponyplay scene where you live?
Adelasia: Not really, there is nothing around here. There are ponies but just nowhere to play— the downside of needing a lot of room. I have found a great play space in Baltimore, MD that has the space, and the few times I have been there with ponies they have loved it. So I am hoping to maybe get something more organized with that venue and maybe get them to have a pony night.
Flutters: Well that kinda stinks that you don’t have a local active scene. We’re trying to start one up here in Boston.
Adelasia: I am finishing up a degree program, so I am hoping after I am done this May it will leave me time to work on more fun stuff like pony play. Maybe I can get a local group going and find a space to play in.
Flutters: You described yourself as kind of old-guard with respect to BDSM and ponyplay, does the influx of more anthropomorphic players (Furries) bother you? Intrigue you?
Adelasia: I am definitely more old-guard. I try to understand and accept everyone, but yes it can be hard at time with these new-type players. The new ones that are all about no labels and “don’t label me I am just who I am” and the ones that don’t want to be him or her, just they… It is all a bit confusing, but I try to understand. I just keep telling myself it’s not my kink, but that is okay.
Roles and Roleplay
Flutters: Have you ever been a pony? Or always the trainer?
Adelasia: I do have a pony side, but she is a whole lot to handle and needs a very experienced person to handle her. I drop very quickly into my pony space once the bit goes in my mouth.
Flutters: How often does that happen?
Adelasia: Not often. She has only come out twice, just no one to handle her safely. It not that she is unsafe, but when I go into pony head space I am a horse and you have to know how to handle me. There is no human there when I am in my head space.
Flutters: Lucky you!
Adelasia: I am bit of a war horse headstrong, but will listen to the one that shows me true control.
Flutters: And kick over anyone else… who isn’t holding a carrot, anyway.
Adelasia: For her it is apples.
Flutters: Do you have any ponyplay inspirations? Any persons or things that drive you in this scene?
Adelasia: All of my learning has been in person or from people… My inspiration would be the pony Monorail, He just embodies life and is such a great pony he is still going at [80] I hope I am still pony playing into my 70s and enjoying life as he does.
Flutters: You and me both! If I last that long, that is. One last thing, though… Where did the name “Adelasia” come from?
Adelasia: I am a part of the SCA. I had picked Adelasia for my persona in the SCA and thought it would also make a good scene name. It is funny— between the two groups that I am a part of, I think the only people that call me by my vanilla name are work and family. Everyone else in my life calls me Adelasia.
If you’d like to know more about Adelasia, you can follow her on FetLife for more info. In the mean time, how did you become interested in ponyplay? Leave a comment!
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