Many of us have a copy of The Human Pony on our coffee tables (or bedside tables, or playroom bookshelves…). Recently I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing author and pony play enthusiast Rebecca Wilcox. Despite the time difference between Sweden and Boston, we managed to find an hour or two where both of us were willing to chat about pony stuff.
Ha! As though there were any time either of us wouldn’t be willing to talk pony stuff.
Starting Off Young
Flutters: THANK you for taking the time today. What time is it there again? I’ll try not to keep you up too late.
[I was still sipping my morning coffee at that point, a typical lazy pony Sunday.]
Rebecca: It is 4:11 pm
Flutters: Oh, that’s not bad at all then!
Rebecca: So, where would you like to start?
Flutters: Well, how long have you known you were interested in human ponies?
Rebecca: That goes way way back, since I can remember I have been in love with horses. I wasn’t really interested in human ponies until I was “forced” to try and I grew into it until it became a near and dear way of playing.
Flutters: Adelasia had a similar response too, being more or less shoved into the handler role before she realized how much she liked it. Was that how it worked for you?
Rebecca: It was a little bit like that. I was in a relationship with someone who was interested. We had read the Beauty books and he gifted me with a pony harness. So, I tacked him up and it started. Since I had an equestrian background it wasn’t that hard to do.
Flutters: Everyone keeps mentioning the Anne Rice series and I haven’t read it yet. Er, Anne whatever-the-feck-she-called-herself.
Rebecca: It is a total erotic fantasy, but also really fun.
Flutters: Tell me about the equestrian background. You owned horses?
Rebecca: I did own horses as an adult, although as a child I begged my way into a barn every chance I got. I took riding lessons and vaulting lessons from age 8-18. It was definitely something I had a deep passion for.
Flutters: Any moments in particular that really brought you to a special place as a kid?
Rebecca: The connection of being with the equine and the feeling of being free, together. It is kind of silly, but I have so many memories of the Burro Ride at Knott’s Berry Farm in California. It was close to my house and I would beg every Sunday to go after church. It wasn’t that often, maybe once a month, but I LOVED it.
Those rides are still very clear in my mind even though I can go back to like 3 years old probably. At least 4.
Flutters: All I remember was Montezooma’s Revenge. ‘Cause that catapult-launch was just righteous.
Rebecca: By the time Montezooma’s Revenge was there the burros were long gone. It was super fun growing up in Southern California surrounded by amusement parks.
Then, of course, the next big memory was starting REAL riding lessons at 8 on a ranch called Jeans and Jodhpurs.
Flutters: And that led to… what, jumping competitions? Dressage? Just recreational riding?
Rebecca: It was mostly recreational, but I got into 4-H when I moved to Kansas and did gymkhana and such.
Flutters: Gymwhatta?
Rebecca: You haven’t heard of gymkhana?
Flutters: I’ve been looking up a LOT of new words since starting these interviews, mostly breed names.
Rebecca: From Wikipedia:
Gymkhana is an equestrian event consisting of speed pattern racing and timed games for riders on horses… In parts of the western United States, this type of competition is usually called an “O-Mok-See…”
Gymkhana and o-mok-see classes include timed speed events such as barrel racing, keyhole race, keg race (also known as “down and back”), flag race, and pole bending.
Flutters: Ahh! So gymkhana, then, is what I did as a pony in Second Life (when that was still a thing).
Rebecca: Later, after college, I got a job at a hunter/jumper barn and got more serious about jumping. Before that it was mostly dressage and basic English seat.
Flutters: Do you own horses now?
Rebecca: No, no horses now, sadly, not even a human pony. Ironic, right?
Flutters: Move to Boston. We can fix that.
Rebecca: Yay, that would probably be fun, but it is hard to imagine my life moving in that direction. I seem pretty stuck in Stockholm. But you never know…
From Vanilla To Kinkster
Flutters: In any case though, how did BDSM start to develop?
Rebecca: LOL, it developed out of reading the Beauty books, for real. I was in a huge transition, got a hold of the book by accident— really —started reading it and I was HOOKED. Shortly after that I met my first BDSM partner and away we went. It changed my life for the better.
Flutters: So, much like she turned half of my high school into wannabe vampires, Anne Rice turned you into a deviant?
Rebecca: Yep.
Flutters: Did you dip your toe into it, or dive in headfirst?
Rebecca: Totally headfirst. Like a banzai cannonball jump into the water. I haven’t looked back since.
Flutters: See, I grew up a bit more uptight and repressed. It took me until I was 25 to really even get tied up.
Rebecca: Yes, but you don’t know how old I was. I was 35 when I started down this path.
Flutters: Huh… so you went from vanilla sex life to published kink author in less than a decade? Less than a few years even?
Rebecca: Technically, yes. I had the advantage of moving to San Francisco only 1.5 years after I started in the kink world. My first “home” was The Stampede. They definitely pushed all my pony buttons and through my involvement with them I became an event coordinator and teacher for training ponies and such.
At the time I was the only experienced equestrian active in SF.
Flutters: Did you notice the same thing we’re lamenting here in Boston: about 1,000 ponies for every trainer/handler?
Rebecca: The funny thing was that that was how it started, but soon after the tables turned and there were more trainers than ponies.
Flutters: SEND THEM TO BOSTON, DAMMIT!
Sorry… don’t know what came over me there…
Rebecca: LOL
When I told my cousin about my pony play activities I asked her if it was weird. She said, “NO, it makes total sense.” This is because I have loved all things horses when I was growing up. It just makes sense.
Pony Homework
Flutters: What possessed you to write The Human Pony?
Rebecca: I was getting contacted by too many people. I could have talked on line and in person 24/7/365 with people and I just needed to be more efficient. So I did my best to represent what I thought pony play was and to help get people started.
It would have more stuff in it now if I were doing it all again. I keep learning.
Flutters: It certainly is a well-conceived book. And there’s always a “second edition” possibility.
Rebecca: It is a possibility, though not a probability.
Flutters: You think your equestrian experience gave you an advantage over “normal” BDSM tops?
Rebecca: It is much easier. In fact, I would recommend ponies and trainers do some bio horse lessons if they have a chance. It is a skill. It is not something you just do in a day; it takes training.
Even if you create your own style, you still have to think through it and develop a system of some kind… a language of communication.
Flutters: Fortunately, we’ve got LOTS of actual ponies here in MA and NH, I’m hoping to get a regular group to head out to some local stables this year for some lessons.
What would you recommend we do, though? Riding lessons? Is there something else?
Rebecca: Riding lessons is a good start. Maybe even have a study group and study horse books. The Horseman’s Bible was key for my development. Other pony players I know have gotten a lot out of bio horse books and horse care, training, etc.
Flutters: Fortunately, there’s a lot on the internet as well. I learned how to PROPERLY do my own standing wraps thanks to bio-horse instructional videos
Rebecca: When I was playing a lot with Beauty (the human pony girl and my co-title holder) we would watch Grand Prix dressage on YouTube. The internet is a wealth of information.
Flutters: We should host a movie night. If someone’s got a good living room.
Rebecca: Come to Stockholm
Flutters: I’ll be there tomorrow.
…in my dreams.
Sex, Roleplay, and Ponies
Flutters: So the BDSM thing led rather immediately into the ponyplay scene? You said you were kind of forced into it.
Rebecca: Of course, it wasn’t really FORCED, but it wasn’t something I was interested in. Still, I was in a relationship and I do believe you should try something before you knock it. So, I gave it a go.
Flutters: You’re always the trainer/handler? Not the pony?
Rebecca: I have tried being a pony twice. It would probably be fun in the right context.
Flutters: But you prefer to hold the reins…
Rebecca: I do.
Flutters: The “Roleplay vs. BDSM” area is a wonderful topic to cover, btw. I came from the “captured and FORCED to be like an animal” fantasies. Then there’s Daizie, who IS a horse and has to pretend to be human on a daily basis.
Rebecca: In the very beginning it was just like what I am used to thinking of as roleplay pony play. Then, we went into a rather long period of BDSM pony play. But as I got into The Stampede, it was more and more about roleplay pony play.
Flutters: How do you feel you fit into this scene?
Rebecca: For me it is mostly about my partner and our relationship. Although, I have strong leanings toward the role play; my headspace is different depending on which type of play I am doing.
I can enjoy the BDSM pony play thing, but it is more about BDSM in my head than pony play. The roleplay pony play is more about the equestrian experience. Both are relationships though.
Flutters: Something I’ve asked everyone so far— and gotten varying responses —is about sex and pony play. Is it sexual for you?
Rebecca: It could have been with the right person, but not usually. I lean toward role play and my role play is based on my equestrian experience with bio horses and I was not sexually interested in the bio horses. That is probably the simple answer.
Flutters: Kind of what I assumed, but you never know. One response I got was blunt: “I wouldn’t fuck a horse.”
Rebecca: When it has been sexual it was usually with a BDSM partner who I had a sexual relationship with and the “pony play” was adjunct to what was happening. But I do understand and have friends who like to play with the taboo aspect of animal role play and sexuality.
The H Word
Flutters: So you’ve been a handler for a while now… how do you put a pony into the almighty H word… Headspace?
Rebecca: I think it is all about the ritual, even if it is the first time the pony experiences the ritual. I have had some powerful first time experiences with ponies that blew me away.
It is about connecting/capturing, restricting, bonding (both relationally and physically). As the restrictions go on and the humanity is removed the transformation begins. The more the being is treated as a horse the more the human drops away and the horse come forward through the tacking up, grooming, handling, etc.
It doesn’t even have to include a “costume.” It is a feeling. When I am clear about my headspace, purpose and goal; then the pony has no choice to but to be the pony.
Flutters: Regarding the costume, do you have a favorite “look” for a pony? Human face with headstall, rubber, Fury mask, fursuit?
Rebecca: I LOVE IT ALL, really I do. Fury masks are amazing, I must say though. The reality of the look is totally cool.
Flutters: So that’s what you’d call your favorite look? The Fury pony?
Rebecca: It is probably up there. I would have wanted the last pony [a hippocampus] to have gotten one with the whole fish thing in greens and blues complete with fins. We probably could have talked Fury into it.
Flutters: Nice! The fantasy doesn’t have to stop at human pony, I guess.
Rebecca: I am all for dreams. I do look for property with horse barns included though. My vanilla husband is very tolerant and supportive of this idea, even though he know he will probably end up wearing blinders… heh.
Flutters: Ever have any troubles maintaining the headspace? Any haters or resistance?
Rebecca: The only time I had problems in public was when the pony was not in costume and the people freaked out and yelled at me – a lot.
Flutters: Yikes! In the Furry fandom they call removing your costume head in public “ruining the magic.”
Rebecca: There is quite a bit of magic involved, isn’t there?
Flutters: Yes there is! And thanks again for helping make the magic happen.
You can find more from Rebecca Wilcox on FetLife and, of course, you can grab her book, The Human Pony, on Amazon.
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