Many of us have seen her at ponyplay events around the US. Some of us read about her in Rebecca Wilcox’s book The Human Pony. I was lucky enough to pull a cart around Seattle’s Green Lake Park with her and some of the other Pacific Northwestern ponies. With a unique visual style and unbridled enthusiasm (yes, I hate myself for even typing that), DaizieDawl is one of the most unique ponies I’ve had the privilege of meeting.
The Pony Child
Flutters: So I’m really interested in your story. Like… how long have you been interested in ponyplay?
Daizie: Wow. Since I was a child, actually. Only It wasn’t pony play to me then, it was just being a horse/pony. I’d say my earliest memories was as a 5-year-old. I used to watch all sorts of cartoons, shows, movies, illustrated books involving horses, and I wanted to be that.
Flutters: Sounds like a fun childhood to me…
Daizie: I’d always play with the plastic ponies, or when neighbor friends wanted to play house or something. I always was the horse. I would make paper horse masks and make horse noises.
Flutters: Okay, that doesn’t surprise me at all. Did your family think it was weird?
Daizie: My family got used to it. No matter where I was at, I’d actually embarrass my mom from acting like a horse in public with her.
When I was 7, [my parents] gave me my first bio pony ever, named Chico.
Flutters: Wow… so you’ve had actual horses since you were a kid?
Daizie: I was very lucky, yes. We were “horse poor” as we couldn’t afford much else with horses. I started taking riding lessons when I was 8 or so.
Putting Away Childish Things
Flutters: When did it become something of a lifestyle for you? You know, more than just childish roleplay.
Daizie: I would say when I was 16, I started secretly making my own pony costumes and “tack” which I hid well from my parents. I made my own little bridles and halters, cuffs, hooves, tails. I would wear them in secret. or under my clothes sometimes.
Flutters: So other than your own little scene you lived until you were a teenager, what was your first connection with the larger ponyplay world?
Daizie: When I was about 18 or 19, I heard a radio interview with Boots the PonyBoy. I felt like I wasn’t alone then and that’s when I started seeking others out.
Flutters: Wow, on a public FM station?
Daizie: Yes, the radio. It was to publicize the Deviant Desires book. I was at home in my bedroom, listening to music, and then there was this in-depth interview that was put on. I was all “Whuuuuuuuuuu???!!! There are OTHERS out there that do this??!! NO way!” and squeeing inside.
Flutters: When did you first MEET someone who was into pony play?
Daizie: Shortly after the interview on the radio (maybe days or a week or two) I got in touch via the interwebz and met with a trans woman. We met at a diner and discussed pony play and creating a Portland Group.
Flutters: So there wasn’t a local scene already, but there were local people interested online? Sounds awfully familiar to Boston.
Daizie: Yes, we started a group called the Oregon Round-Up, and it was a nice small group. We met regularly and even did a circus show together at Cirque Du Nok in Lola’s room (in the Crystal Ballroom) in Portland in the early 2000’s.
Flutters: Is the group still active?
Daizie: I don’t think so. We where for a year or two, but then people got busy, some people’s interests changed, and it just sort of dissipated, sadly.
Flutters: Having talked to some of the SEA-PAH board, believe me when I say it takes a shitload of work to keep a group organized and active. What’s the ponyplay scene like in Portland now?
Daizie: We have ponies. We meet up on the rare occasion, but schedules kind of don’t blend well with each other. So If a regular group is to get going, a good private outdoor space for the shy ponies would be helpful, along with a few times in a month meetups to ensure everyone got some pony time.
Flutters: That’s our big problem here in Boston, too: finding a venue.
Daizie: Yeah. I wish I had land myself. I would have had something going long ago, but many have issues with park ponying, or public ponying.
Flutters: So are you still trying to get a local scene revived? Or have you given up and just resolved to move to Boston? *wink wink nudge nudge*
Daizie: I can feel the local herd wanting to gather, but like I said, schedules conflict and lots of shy ponies don’t like public play. And there’s only so much “lets meet at a restaurant or my yurt to talk shop” that I can do before I just wanna prance around.
The Shy Ponies
Flutters: I hear you on the public ponying thing. A lot of my local friends who are into ponyplay didn’t want to join us for the pride parade last year.
Daizie: Some sort of facial covering really does help.
Flutters: Some people just don’t want to do it in public, even if their faces are covered.
Daizie: Yeah, the shy bug does run deep in some. I used to be hella shy myself.
Flutters: (At this point I spit my barley-based beverage across the room, having vivid memories of Daizie in full pony gear chasing after a flock of coots at Green Lake Park.)
Wait, what? You?
Daizie: Believe it or not, Yes… And I’m still working on public speaking! As a pony, I’ve learned that I am what I am and there’s no shame. Equines have no shame, it’s the human side that is shy.
Flutters: Well if I could poop while walking, I probably wouldn’t have any shame either.
Roles, Breeds, and Bodies
Flutters: So I’m pretty sure I know the answer to this, but are you always the pony? Or do you spend time on the other side of the reins?
Daizie: I am 99 percent the pony, 1 percent forced. I’ve had to handle reins once or twice. It’s not my thing to be the handler with pony play, but if there is no other option and someone wants to experience it, I’ll buck up and handle. I’d prefer 100% pony
Flutters: You and me both. Again.
Daizie: It’s so much enjoyment to be the beast.
Flutters: Do you have a favorite breed of horse that you identify with?
Daizie: Wow. I heart all the pretty horses (and even the fugly ones too). Growing up, my heart horse was a thoroughbred and her daughter was a crop out paint… I do love horse coat patterns, so as a pony I’m always preferring to be a colored/marked-up breed. I currently identify as an appaloosa, though my build is trim— I’m more built like a Nez Perce horse (appaloosa crossed with an Akhal-Teke).
Flutters: (My eyes stared glazing over at this point.)
Hey look, a bunch of new words I’m going to have to look up…
Pony Inspirations
Flutters: Any person or event or maybe even an actual bio-horse that make you want to do MORE in this scene?
Daizie: I get my inspirations from so many other human ponies out there… I hope they don’t get offended if I don’t mention them all.
Flutters: I wouldn’t worry, chances are good I’m going to have to edit this down to novella length anyway.
Daizie: Boots the Ponyboy was my very first human pony inspiration. Before him, I had no idea that I was not alone. Sugar/Nastrus inspired me to try “pony skins,” subMissAnn inspired me to not be afraid and that I can pony anywhere I want including public spaces…
Flutters: Actually, she referred one of our local members to the group, too!
Daizie: LunaCarousel inspired me with her costumes and photos and her lists, Buck inspired me with his pony gear he would make, Fury Fantasy for his superb leather working skills and mad mask ability, Nighty and all the other Fury Fantasy Horses (from all over the world), because they look hella gorgeous in their pony getups…
Flutters: Yeah, his stuff is amazing. And I already interviewed Nighty, who designed Fury’s marathon harness too.
Daizie: …Ponygirl Charisma and Spring Pony for their pony crafting skills, CPony for his knowledge and lists in Ponyplay…
Flutters: (Like I said, I really needed to edit this list down, but this is a decent sample of the names she quoted…)
Daizie: I should stop there, I’m afraid I’ve already got carried away with my inspirations; many human ponies have been my inspiration. I am also only mentioning those that have identified as ponies, not pony trainers (as there’s a handful that inspire me from the trainer perspective).
The Mane Events
Flutters: What are your favorite events you’ve attended?
Daizie: I actually haven’t gone to many events… I have gone to Beyond Leather for their International Pony Play Championships, then I’ve gone to the West Coast’s International Pony Play Event. I’ve gone to Wet Spot in Paradise up in Washington ages ago, but it wasn’t a competition. I would really really love to go to Camp Crucible’s Pony Camp one year… Looking forward to a new event called Ponies on the Delta as well.
Flutters: How about the gear? How much of the gear does it take before you feel like a pony?
Daizie: I love the full immersion of pony play; I love to be strapped all over, hitched to a cart and pulling for all I’ve got. It throws me into such a lovely headspace. But to be simply a pony, I really am fine with my tail and my mask on.
Flutters: Oh, the straps…
Daizie: Yes =drools=… Pony Mistress Dana has such lovely straps wrapping the wearer all over. [See what she means in the Green Lake Park photos posted here.]
It’s wonderful. I recommend it.. My very first time being hitched to a cart was for her, up at the Long House in Northern Washington. I was tightly strapped (it took a good hour just to get tacked up) then hitched and worked by her… oh my gosh!
Flutters: Do you have an ideal LOOK for yourself as a pony?
Daizie: My Ideal look as a pony is wearing a patterned skin of some sort, a horse face, mane, tail, all four hooves on, heelless hoof boots, and dressed well with showy tack. I don’t care if the tack style is English, Western, or some other style. I’ll be happy in any of them.
Flutters: I really do love your pony-skin patterning… ideally I’d like something similar, but I don’t want to copy your look.
Daizie: I enjoy patterning on human ponies, I would like to see more of it. There’s no way to copy my look. One could probably be similar, but I wouldn’t mind. In the bio horse world, there are always horses that resemble other horses. Take for instance a chestnut horse with a big bald face and four white socks… I see those all over the bio-horse world.
Flutters: It’s really a uniform. They all work for the same company.
Daizie: They work for Bad Horse.
Let’s Talk About Sex
Flutters: Was this something of a sexual thrill for you as a teenager? Or now?
Daizie: NO. It was never sexual for me.
Flutters: So while many see this as a kink, you see it as…?
Daizie: Freedom. A way to commune with my equine spirit. I’ve been told I’m somewhat of a therian; I’ve got the spirit of an equine, but I’m in a human body. It just feels so natural to allow my inner pony spirit to shine through and do what it needs to.
Flutters: Does it bother you that a lot of people (maybe most) who are in this scene do see it as a kink? A BDSM offshoot?
Daizie: Not at all. I love everyone’s individual takes of what pony play is to them. It’s quite beautiful.
Flutters: That seems wonderfully implausible to me… sort of like a practicing Catholic being okay with others who are into nun play in the bedroom: that it’s purely spiritual for you, but you support those for whom it’s purely sexual.
Daizie: I feel this community needs all the support it can get.
Flutters: Well, we’re here to help.
Daizie: I could care less how people take their own version of pony play. Mine is a spiritual euphoria, but if they wish to pork in pony gear, whether with a handler or fellow pony, more power to them. We each have a right to our own form of happiness with other people and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, I’m not opposed to a mare/stallion breeding scene in the wild. It could happen.
Death Threats and Children
Flutters: Have you encountered people with misconceptions about ponyplay?
Daizie: Yes, I do encounter people who don’t understand it. Who fear it sometimes. I have dispelled misconceptions before. When strangers actually come up to meet me, they learn that I’m not going to molest their children. I’m just having a good time and getting great exercise to boot. But I’ve also had really radical parents who understand and will actually bring their children up to see me.
Flutters: Some people actually think you’re a child molester?
Daizie: I’ve had internet death threats before. lol
Flutters: Oh jeebus… Just the usual troll bullshit, or something more sinister?
Daizie: I’m thinking trollish… just macho guys fearing something they don’t understand so much. They have to scare the spider, so to speak. But most of the fear mongers think I’m a dude, because I guess I lack enough breasts to count as female.
Flutters: Aww come on… everyone loves ponies.
Daizie: One little girl tried to feed me twigs, so I played along.
Flutters: Shoulda told her to bring back sugar cubes!
Daizie: I try not to speak when in pony role, I just make pony sounds and let my handler do the talking. Unless I’m alone, then I will talk, but only when necessary.
The H Word
Flutters: So I have to ask about the big H word: Headspace. Clearly you’ve been there. From the sound of things, you went there and never left.
Daizie: Lol. I am a pony through and through, I am a pony, yes I do!
It really depends on the handler too. If they have bio-horse experience, and I test them out and they do the correct things, I’m sent to the happy place.
Flutters: Test them out?
Daizie: If I have an inexperienced handler who I find myself schooling, then I’m only in role play mode. I’ll see what I can get away with sometimes, especially if they seem like they are not sure. Most of the time though, I am nice to them. I’ll stop, or I’ll go the opposite way of what they want, or I’ll ignore or do what I think they might want, but not exactly.
Flutters: Do you remember the first time you really got into the headspace? When you weren’t just pretending?
Daizie: Yeah, it was my first time being hitched to a cart up at the Long House in Paradise. When Dana tacked me up really tight in that strappy harness and took my reins. It was akin to being high on drugs… my endorphins… I was like this for what seemed like hours. I wouldn’t stop. They actually had to make me stop and rest, as I just wanted to keep on going. They took really good care of me and when I was untacked I was still so very loopy, smiley and silly.
Flutters: God I envy you. What’s it take to get you into that headspace these days? Is there a procedure?
Daizie: I haven’t seen that headspace for some time. It happened for a moment last year at Beyond Leather when Foxy Davis took my reins for, like, 5 minutes. I would say to get in that headspace I really need to be handled like a bio-horse. I do enjoy a good grooming, cleaning of the hooves, being tended to, and then warmed up and worked out.
Flutters: So you need someone with experience, then.
Daizie: Yes experience is very helpful.
The Pony’s Ultimate Fantasy
Flutters: What’s your ultimate pony fantasy?
Daizie: I would really like to be taken to a camping event for a number of days and remain in pony space (except to use the privy, of course) for the duration. And used the way my handler saw fit, which hopefully involves grooming, shoeing, braiding of the mane and tail, worked out, driven, dressage, taken on a picnic (me pulling their cart, of course, possibly with a horse team).
And I wouldn’t care if it was a competition, or just a pony play camping event just to gather around and socialize with other pony play enthusiasts.
Flutters: So your ultimate fantasy is… Crucible, apparently.
Daizie: Yeah, sounds like it doesn’t it? I’ve always wanted to go there since I first heard about it years ago.
Flutters: Anything else you might want to share about your pony experience or history?
Daizie: I’m very approachable and I really love helping new ponies out. This community needs the support of its fellow ponies after all, so don’t anyone be afraid to approach me. I don’t bite.
If you’d like to know more about Daizie, you can follow her on FetLife for more info. In the mean time, what’s your ultimate pony fantasy? Leave a comment!